Distractions

I know that many people use blogs as a sot of Ego- boosting diary, I am using this to simply write out what I feel. I think I may be truly terrified of going to college, I don't really want to go to a Christian university but my parents are pushing the idea. I believe in God and the Bible but....The overly pretentious "Christian" people that populate those places make me want to puke. I don't want mandatory chapel or uniforms either. I want the opportunity to find a group of friends I fit in with, my best friend lives in Alaska now, so it seems to be time to start looking for some companionship. I've always kept my feelings locked up....I want someone to say "I know how you feel" and truly mean it. Here's something, I have never had a relationship with a girl because of my self-esteem and the fact that I don't want just another pretty face. I have NEVER found anyone who has the same interests as me, I'm hoping college will change that...I guess I'll just have to toss a coin and hope.

Just Keep Driving

A three day weekend yet again soiled by work. I am growing tired of school and my job, I am not left with much time to think. Everyone is pushing us to go to college as soon as we graduate high school and then enter the workforce. My worst fear is that I will wake up at 40 and regret all this. I don't really know what I want to do, all I know are video games and music, and it is sad to have no person to confide in. I never do what I really want to do because life gets in the way. An example would be when I drive to school or work every day, there is an inner force that just pushes me- pack a bag, take your cash and a map, and just keep driving.

Starting Out

Heya there. I might as well start with a little about myself. I am an extremely antisocial, depressed and emotionally scarred dude. I am paranoid, cynical, and have an unhealthy obsession with knives, weapons, comic books, webcomics, and video games. (And I wonder how I can't get a girlfriend)

Thanks to my relative average attractiveness, weird behavior, and interaction problems, I have never been kissed by a girl, held hands, or even obtained a hug longer than 30 seconds. I panic and blow up every plan I set into action and it always becomes a friend relationship. (I said this would be depressing)

If my audience of pity-ers becomes large enough, I hope to find a girl through this thing - (stalkers welcome if they don't harvest organs and pets!) hopefully I won't die in a hilarious accident before I get that far (but if I do, my will includes a friend updating this thing with the details)

If you are someone who takes a large part in trolling on websites and youtube comment panels, stay off this page, I have a lot of free time and I can find where you live.

I want to also press the matter that I am not some stupid whiny emo kid looking for attention, I can be pretty funny at times. By the way, I will make fun of nearly every subculture at some point. Get the hell over it.
--also, thanks for at least reading through the first post, it means a lot.